“Her voice was now so shrill only bats would be able to hear it soon, but she had reached a level of indignation that rendered her temporarily speechless.
“But Dumbledore says he doesn’t care what they do as long as they don’t take him off the Chocolate Frog cards
“This isn’t a Christmas special! This is my life. In the real world, miracles and goodness just don’t happen
“Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
“What do you think Dimitri? Is this a good idea, Dimitri? Please give us your blessing so that we can fall down and worship you, Dimitri.
“Too bad. Family members hit you by accident. Psychopathic whores tend to come back for more.
“Was it animal pee or human pee? Someone asked.
How would I know? What, am I an expert in the study of pee?”
“I can’t decide whether I’m a good girl wrapped up in a bad girl, or if I’m a bad girl wrapped up in a good girl. And that’s how I know I’m a woman.
“Life is better than death, I believe, if only because it is less boring, and because it has fresh peaches in it.
“Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny.